Billie Eilish’s Secret TikTok Account Sure Is 😳Something😳

After ruining our brains with the “are they pink and white or mint green and pink sneakers?” existential Q on Instagram, Billie Eilish is officially ready to entertain on a new beloved app: TikTok! 

Over the weekend, fans reported casually scrolling through their FYP and came across a pair of videos featuring Eilish under the account name “@coochiedestroyer5”—because, y’know, @coochiedestroyer and @coochiedestroyer1, 2, 3 and 4 were taken. Imagine just scrolling through your cozy Cottagecore TikTok, Gay TikTok and Vintage TikTok clips and then BAM, there’s Billie, the self-proclaimed cooch-destroyer herself.

In one video, the “Therefore I Am” singer used the Time Warp Scan filter to make a face that immediately led her to burst into hysterical laughter. It has over 91,000,000 views and counting. 

@coochiedestroyer5

##TimeWarpScan

♬ original sound – Tik Toker

In another, Eilish recalls the time when she was 15-years-old and tried to fit an entire ukulele head in her mouth (umm 😳) before she tries to do it again now that she’s 18—and, lemme tell you, the result is a haunting image that will unfortunately stay in my worm brain for a long time to come. 

@coochiedestroyer5

♬ original sound – Tik Toker

My sleep paralysis demon last night when I couldn’t get to sleep until 4am really said: Go To BeD bItCh Or I’lL gObBle GoBbLe GoBbLe.

“Oh my God so Billie Eilish has joined TikTok but I bet any money she’s gonna leave this app in a week’s time because it’s so toxic,” one fan said in a duet to her Time Warp Scan video. Others are relishing in their fave joining the new platform and dueting in an attempt to be seen by the multi-Grammy award-winning teen. 

@lulpatchy

##duet with @coochiedestroyer5 Wow (🚨Grab an Xbox Series X FAST link in bio✅) ##susnation ##foryoupage ##xyzbca ##foryou

♬ original sound – Tik Toker

“Was no one going to tell me that Billie Eilish made a TikTok called coochiedestroyer5,” asked Twitter user ArkhamAzula. “I just had to find her on my fyp like that?”

“Miss Billie Eilish joined TikTok—I love November,” wrote another. 

2020 has been a wild and unpredictable year. But, if there’s one thing we hope carries into the new year at the end of next month, it’s more Billie Eilish TikTok content.

Julian Rizzo-Smith is a writer and producer. He also claims to be a vine historian, avid connoisseur of low-fi beats, indie hip hop and Kermit memes. In a perfect world, he’d be married to Tyler the Creator, own an Arcanine and a Lapras, and don his own Sailor Scouts uniform. He tweets @GayWeebDisaster, which is also, coincidentally, how one might describe him.