Send Me To The Alternate Timeline Where The Lizzo “WAP” Cameo Happened

Syrup fave and Grammy-nominated singer Lizzo nearly had a cameo in Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s “WAP.” And, to put it simply, I would like to see it.

The music video to Cardi B and Megan The Stallion’s “WAP,”—a one Wet Ass Pussy—really is that bitch. From the bombastic, horny and colourfully wacky set design and iconic looks to the CGI tigers and superstar cameos, prior to BTS’s “Dynamite,” it was *the* music video of 2020 and claimed the Billboard’s no. 1 spot. While “WAP” included cameos from Kylie Jenner, Normani and Rosalía, it potentially could’ve been even better with a cameo from our favourite “Juice” singer.

That’s right, folks. According to a new interview with radio station Hot 97, via Paper, Cardi B’s original vision for “WAP” included the infectiously loveable “Truth Hurts” performer partying it up in one of the “WAP” mansion’s virtual rooms. So, why didn’t it go ahead? Well, unfortunately, Lizzo was on a much needed and deserved vacation during filming.

“I’m cool with Lizzo and everything,” Cardi B said. “Like, we’ve been sending DMs to each other and all that. But she was on vacation and she wasn’t in town. I was like, ‘Oh my gosh,’ because I had a whole vision about how I want to see Lizzo and everything.”

Now excuse me while I spiral thinking about the alternate timeline and reality where Lizzo decided to delay her lil getaway by a week and became part of one of the biggest clips of the year.

I’m not sure where exactly she’d fit in the music video and who she’d replace but a “WAP” music video ft. Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion, Rosalía, Normani AND Lizzo? The power that has, the clearance that has, the talent… I think I need a moment.

For now, we can pray to the ancient pop and rap deities that Lizzo releases a “WAP” remix or some legendary Twitter user edits her into the OG video. Or, as I have spent the last 24 hours doing, watch these how-are-they-this-good remixes of Cardi B and Megan’s feminist anthem as if it were an ‘80s funk track or mashed with Phantom of the Opera. More like Phantom of the WAPera…

Julian Rizzo-Smith is a writer and producer. He also claims to be a vine historian, avid connoisseur of low-fi beats, indie hip hop and Kermit memes. In a perfect world, he’d be married to Tyler the Creator, own an Arcanine and a Lapras, and don his own Sailor Scouts uniform. He tweets @GayWeebDisaster, which is also, coincidentally, how one might describe him.