Please Say Sike 🥺: Robert Pattinson Just Tested Positive For COVID-19

Just as we were processing the news that Dwayne Johnson and his family had contracted COVID-19, Robert Pattinson has reportedly also caught the virus. Please… say sike.

According to Deadline, Matt Reeves’s production of Batman only just resumed filming for three days after a five and a half month long hiatus, before the U.K. production at Warner Bros. was forced to close after one of the people on set tested positive for COVID-19. And, via some “highly placed source,” Vanity Fair confirmed that the infected victim was in fact Robert ‘RBattz Edward Cullen’ Pattinson himself. 

Shortly after the news broke, the internet went into an absolute frenzy. People willingly offered themselves up as a worthy sacrifice to their beloved actor turned manic pasta chef. One fan told Pattinson via a tweet, “please take my covid-free lungs. I don’t need them.” Another simply suggested she’d “suck the covid out of [him].”

“Robert Pattinson has COVID-19 …. do you need anything I’ll bring over a care basket. I’ll bring you ibuprofen and cough drops and tissues I’ve got you.”

People will do absolutely anything to simp for an edgy white boy during times like these. Whatever helps you cope with impending doom and dread of 2020, I guess. You do you, boo.

It’s a good reminder that no matter what your status, fame or wealth is, we all have to take steps to protest ourselves from the virus. Wear appropriate gear that’s certified to protect you against COVID-19, like surgical masks, P2/N95 respirators, gloves, goggles, glasses, face shields, gowns and aprons, and limit any unnecessary partying. Yes, that includes protecting the people of Gotham, too.

When Robert Pattinson recovers, he’ll resume his work on Reeves’s Batman, which also stars Zoë Kravitz as Catwoman (YES!), Paul Dano as The Riddler and Colin Farrel as The Penguin. A trailer for the film recently debuted at DC FanDome (and people sure have opinions about it), with a release date of the 21st of October, 2021, but it’s unclear whether this setback won’t push the film back further. 

Pattinson’s representatives have reportedly declined to comment on his current COVID-19 status, but judging from his last absolutely chaotic interview while in quarantine, we can only hope the edgy Bats is okay. In the meantime, we here at Syrup are praying for RBattz to have a speedy recovery and hope he eats less disgustang pasta cooked with aluminium in the microwave. 

Julian Rizzo-Smith is a writer and producer. He also claims to be a vine historian, avid connoisseur of low-fi beats, indie hip hop and Kermit memes. In a perfect world, he’d be married to Tyler the Creator, own an Arcanine and a Lapras, and don his own Sailor Scouts uniform. He tweets @GayWeebDisaster, which is also, coincidentally, how one might describe him.