Sorry Y’all, NASA Didn’t Confirm Parallel Universes After All

Earlier this month, reports claimed that a scientist discovered that we might have just collided with a parallel universe, implying that, y’know, other realities exist. 

Somewhere out there, U.S. President Donald Trump was never elected as President, we aren’t in a fucking international pandemic, people aren’t making tiny cereals of normal sized foods and Shea Couleé didn’t lose RuPaul’s Drag Race (good thing there’s All Stars 5); and aliens exist… probably. Or at least, that’s what the theory implied, if it were true.

Anyway, sadly, NASA has debunked the theory.

Buckle up boys, girls and non-binary pals, because the story behind this internet meme is pretty fucking wild.

Parallel Universes? On MY Earth?

According to a paywall-protected article on New Scientist, referenced by the New York Post and Daily Star, in 2016, a group of NASA scientists were on an expedition in Antarctica where they would observe a “giant balloon carrying a collection of antennas floating high above ice,” to detect tiny high-energy particles called neutrinos. Apparently, they would do this once a month and often observed nothing out of the ordinary. 

But, in their third balloon in the air experiment, they detected something odd. Looking at the collection of particles recorded in their data, something just didn’t quite add up. A high-energy particle that not only “wasn’t what they were looking for,” but “seemed impossible.” Even weirder, the particle was coming from the ground.

Allegedly, they tried every scientific theory and approach to interpret this, admitting that no current understanding of physics could interpret it (that part is true) and came up with only one absolute: that what they were seeing in the data was a gate to a parallel universe. This universe, they argued, was created in the same big bang as our own but exists parallel to our own universe. In this world with laws and physics unlike ours, “positive is negative, left is right and time runs backwards.” 

So, basically, a literal realm to the Upside Down where everyone has Benjamin Button disease and talks like they’re in a David Lynch film. Totally not terrifying, oh at all. 

On the brightside, maybe my parallel universe is thriving. Good for him. 

It’s Less Likely Than You Think

But, as CNET explained, there’s nothing actually concrete to confirm our Earth has collided with a parallel universe. NASA confirmed that, uh, actually, they didn’t discover a parallel universe during an expedition to Antarctica after all. 

Rather, the high recordings of neutrinos don’t actually add to anything. In fact, according to the outlet, about 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body each second (cool, totally not a terrifying stat). While, as Clancy James, radio astronomer at Curtin University told CNET, “we are absolutely sure that there is new physics out there to be found,” there is no hard evidence to prove that parallel universes exist.

So, sorry to say, there’s no alternate reality where you’re dating Harry Styles and his 19 other polyamorous watermelon loving honeys. At least, for now… 

Julian Rizzo-Smith is a writer and producer. He also claims to be a vine historian, avid connoisseur of low-fi beats, indie hip hop and Kermit memes. In a perfect world, he’d be married to Tyler the Creator, own an Arcanine and a Lapras, and don his own Sailor Scouts uniform. He tweets @GayWeebDisaster, which is also, coincidentally, how one might describe him.

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